I’m sorry I’ve been neglectful lately. I’ve been busy being sick, having friends in town, getting married, and being sick again. In between I did manage to make wedding cookies for my little man’s day care class and a lovely cake and some meringues for the wedding. The cookies will be posted next week and hopefully the cake will be the week after (my father-in-law took the photos, so he will be sending them to me some time soon once he finishes editing). Despite all of the baking and eating pizza, I have managed to lose a couple more pounds which puts me very near to my half-way point. I am also coming up on my one year anniversary on My Fitness Pal in two months. All of that has been making me think about how much I have learned in the last year.

I’ve said before that I think everyone has an “oh, shit” weight and everyone’s is different. When I hit my “oh, shit” weight last year and decided that I could not, would not, gain a single pound more, I started to do something about it. I initially chose My Fitness Pal because it was free, online, and because I already knew what I needed to do to lose, I just needed a way to track my intake. Or so I thought. Although I was quickly converted to the calories in vs. calories out weight loss rationale, it is amazing how differently I eat now compared to when I first started. In the beginning, I ate lots of those artificially flavored under 100 calorie low-fat yogurts, sandwiches, tons of frozen meals for lunches, salads, and light desserts. Now I wouldn’t touch any of that stuff except the salad and only that if I am really in the mood for it. We are almost brain washed into thinking that to lose weight we have to eat “diet” food. Fake yogurt, Weight Watchers dessert, Special K cereal. It’s no wonder I always felt sooo crappy when I was on a diet because I was eating total crap.

These days I rarely eat anything that you would label “diet”. I do eat low-fat (2%) dairy products, but that is because they don’t replace the fat with fake ingredients like with some other products. Breakfast is generally 150 grams of 2% Greek yogurt with wheat germ, honey, and blackberries. Lunch is either leftover dinner from the night before, Subway if I need something more like fast food, or tuna packets with apple and jalapeno on salad or Wasa bread (because I like the darn things better than a sandwich, not because they are “light”). Lunch looks a bit more “diet-y” than my other meals, but that is mostly out of convenience. Tuna packets are easy for traveling and Wasa doesn’t get squished. Dinner is usually something from Cooking Light or Clean Eating, but it always involves meat and usually lots of veggies. I rarely eat carb dishes at dinner. I don’t care much for pasta and rice, so to me it isn’t worth the calories. If I have one or the other, it is usually brown rice if we are having some sort of Asian meal. Snacks are almost always fruit, like an apple or pear with creamy swiss cheese or almond butter or a champagne mango.

The biggest change for me has been dessert. I love to bake. I named my Kitchen-Aid mixer, for God’s sake and yes, I call her by name when I talk to her. Sadly, Helga has been feeling a bit neglected lately. I have been trying to eat cleaner and also to eat less non-vegetable based carbohydrates, so that pretty much wipes out baking. The interesting thing is that I don’t really miss eating the sweets as much as I have in past times of sugar deprivation. I think as I gradually changed my eating habits, my body got used to much less sugar. It also got used to more of the sugar being from natural sources like fruit. I really only noticed a couple of weeks ago that I don’t have the crazy sugar cravings that used to just about rule my day, and certainly ruled my diet. I still love sweets. I still love to look at baking blogs and see all of the pretty tarts and cakes and cookies. The difference is that I no longer have the need to run straight for Helga. In a way it makes me sad because I would love to be the kind of mom that has fresh-baked cookies ready every day after school. But I know that if I were that type of mom, both me and my child would probably be able to roll ourselves to and from the table. I still make dessert, but now it is more like a couple of times a month instead of a couple of times a week.

Exercise has been another big change. I’ve never liked exercise. I hate to sweat. I despise it when my face gets red. I’m allergic to lycra. Ok, that last was a lie, but I look wretched in work out clothes and while I know it isn’t a beauty contest, I also know that it shouldn’t be a side-show. In my past attempts to lose weight I would always team up with a friend and meet outside somewhere to go for a run. We usually ended up walking fast and gossiping, then having dinner and drinks and negating the entire process. I tried c25k when I first started out this time. I know the program works but I have yet to finish it because, well, I just don’t really like running. It’s ok, though, because you don’t have to like running to burn off enough calories to eat dessert. I generally work out with my Kinect (it’s an attachment for the Xbox). I use Your Shape: Fitness Evolved. I love the cardio boxing and the personal trainer mode. I downloaded some extra content and I’m currently working my way through the Gunnar Peterson workout. The Kinect is fun and I can do it at home. I actually enjoy doing it and I don’t drag my heals when it’s exercise time. I’m looking forward to joining a gym in a couple of weeks so that I can start a weight lifting routine. I’ll still spend most of my time with the Kinect, but weights just help make you look so much better.

It has been interesting to me to look back over the last year and see how my eating habits have changed. I am so happy that I am in charge of what I eat now and I no longer feel like I have to give in to every little craving. Really, I’m just so glad that I don’t have cravings anymore. Persistence is the only thing that really gets that sugar beast off your back. I sometimes feel like it has taken forever for me just to get half-way to my initial goal weight, but in the end I don’t mind because I know that by taking my time and really changing the way I think about food that I am making lasting changes and not just temporarily losing weight. I also know that by cutting out most of the processed food from my diet and by learning to do exercises that I actually enjoy that I am healthier and not just 40-some-odd pounds lighter. Whether you need to lose weight or not, start thinking about how you fuel your body. So many foods are linked to chronic health issues, headaches, and mood. You don’t realize how crappy and tired you used to feel until you start eating more natural foods. Try logging what you eat for just one week and you may be surprised at what you see.